This is the fourth soul dance workshop I have done and through soul dancing my life has become a beautifully coloured painting of emotion.

Thank you for all the time and effort you put into soul dancing especially for holding each of us in your awareness throughout soul dancing. Words cannot capture the gratitude I feel for having had the opportunity to engage with you.

All my love, Leezil

Soul Dancing is always a journey into self discovery and self healing. I start with an uncertainty as to what will unravel but with a willingness to explore. I find myself working on an aspect of self that needs nurturing. This workshop is designed to tap into one’s core and dig deep inside to find barriers and patterns that prevent one from living fully.

With love and support Efrat allows a person to work with these barriers and to release them in order to set one free. Living authentically demands on-going self development and consciousness, Soul Dancing is exactly that, a gift, a blessing and a workshop I am always grateful to attend. I ended the March Soul Dancing feeling brand new, refreshed and anxious to live my life fully, exploring a side of me that often gets overlooked. To Efrat, you serve unapologetically, you give wholeheartedly and I am truly blessed to share this space with you.

Love, Kalay

Aaah but Anger, especially anger.
When initially asked when last I experienced Anger I started thinking back to months ago, I immediately associated it with the expression of Anger toward someone else. I didn’t even think to consider the anger I experience directed to self, or the anger I suppress for fear of exploding – a most inappropriate response, I thought then.

Now, through the powerful journey that Soul Dancing is, I realize that I had it all wrong. That the REAL inappropriate response, to any emotion that arises, is to pretend that it did not. I mean pretending in any situation is probably not a very clever choice; pretending when it come to emotion is downright hazardous. Because emotion is energy, energy in motion…and that energy has to go somewhere. If it’s not expressed, and expression can always be constructive (that too is a choice), it shows up in your life in unwanted ways. In your body as illnesses, in your relationships as a loss thereof, in your level of aliveness – how true you are being to your authentic self.

It took a while but towards the end of the soul dancing journey I allowed myself to experience anger, and pain. Boy, was it unpleasant! I felt slow, like I was being weighed down by wet clothes. Like I couldn’t just move quickly and blissfully in my life like I usually do. It was too damn difficult and really all I wanted to do is lie down and sleep it off, sleep off the pain and maybe I’ll wake up and it’s all gone and I’ll be me again. This time though, I recognized the importance of being awake and aware through it. Acknowledge the pain and it’s source, but also recognize that life beckons me to live through it. Because there is no life without pain. And so I did, I pushed myself to keep moving, to do the things I needed to do while carrying the pain, to use it in exploring how I do the things. And I did, albeit at a much slower pace, but I did it. That same day the pain did lift, but not through pretending it’s not there, avoiding it, pushing it down with sleep/substance…but working through it and coming out the other side. Working through it was my way of letting it go. To say: ‘Hello pain, I see you, I recognize you and where you come from, I choose to not let that stop me from being me. So I’ll work with you, until I no longer have to.’

And when that happened, wow did I experience a level lightness that I had yet to experience. Like if you could patch on some wings on my back, I could truly fly (and not just in my dreams).

Acknowledging and expressing my emotions, has brought out my aliveness.
Which is explosive.

I wrote this poem as a tribute to the experience:

To dance with your soul
Is to elevate your Being
To express the unwritten words
That are etched on your heart
Who are you really
When nobody is watching
Where do you go in your mind to
Experience utter peace
And how does your body flow to the
Water of your emotions
And when you are at that place
Do you allow yourself to move
And be moved
To experience the majesty 

of who you are
Beautifully Human

Free to Give of your Love
And Open to Receive it in kind

Behold the glorious display of divine order
To live your life as your soul dances
In alignment with who you really are
A holy communion

Thanks to the Soul Dancing preparation work, which forced me to take a break and do a stock take – if it was not for that opportunity to STOP and LOOK, I would never have gotten to CORRECT.

After the first Soul Dancing session, the noise in my ears that went with the word “Pressure” started to quieten down; I reconnected with me and with loved ones around again.  I became an agenda item in my own life.

I realized just how much in the effect of fear I had been living; with me imagining the worst outcomes for anything I wished to do or express.

The greatest gift that I got was reestablishing balance in my life, reconnecting with the authentic me and finding a rhythm that served me. Very soon after that session, I was reminded that this universe still has my back. Simply from setting an intention, before I could take a step, I received the answers I needed, I got solutions to my challenges. This was a real miracle.

Most of the conversations I avoided having for fear that I would be rejected were simply brought up already with exactly the outcomes I hoped for. My work life did a 180 degree turn to the better. My relationship with my partner got closer than it was before.

This was just from the one session. By the end of the 5th session, I was a totally different person; some people even commented that I seemed to be lighter in many ways. All burdens were lifted and I had a new outlook on life. Most importantly, I had reconnected with my ability to feel each emotion such as pain or anger, without needing to hide from it.

In the month of Soul Dancing, I got to make time just to have fun with the beautiful people in my life and I remembered that I do not need to wait for vacation before having fun as it was always available when I made myself a priority too.

Since completing the soul dancing, I have found a lot of drive and courage to go after what brings me joy. My reason for doing anything I do has changed from an “I have to” to an “I love to”.

I am coming back to the next Soul Dancing because I desire to make this happy light loving way of being a way of life rather than something I only get in touch with during and after a Soul Dancing session. I am coming back to enforce this new culture of recognizing my own self importance to me. I am coming back to explore more this power to will the universe by intention.

1. Fear: my relationship has moved from one where I was not even conscious of the thing called fear in my life. I remember that first session where we dealt with fear, it was by far the most challenging because I realised that being fearful had been my way of being. I lived a life where to do the simplest things necessary in my life, I had to break through some fear or another, from the fear of being judged as not good enough or fear of not being seen or heard. The fear of being hurt in relationships or being rejected prevented me from making any deep friendships or intimate relationships for that matter.Today, I don’t even wait for a Soul Dancing session before I identify my fears and decide to confront them head on. I am more aware of any fear from the moment it is evoked in me and that helps me to reflect on it on the spot and not react blindly or hide from the situation like I used to. This conscious relationship with fear has helped me a lot at work as I am a much more confident manager and I am able to express all my thoughts free without the limiting fear of what will “people” think or say because I no longer hold that fear. All my relationships from family to friends have improved drastically as I am more open to speak what’s on my mind and trusting that people are big enough to receive and grow from the feedback instead of them rejecting me. I have found that by working on my relationship with fear and being more aware of fear and challenge the various fears I had lived with for a long time as they crop up; I am more open to loving people and am experiencing a lot of love in my life. This continues to be a work in progress but one that I am keen to work with.
   

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2. Anger: my relationship with anger has moved from one of shame where I believed that experiencing anger was a sign of spiritual weakness, to one where I have totally accepted that there will always be things that will evoke anger in me and that what’s important is my response in those situations. I used to bottle things up and not address them lest someone picked on the underlying anger. Now, not only do I embrace all of me, including the anger I feel from time to time; I have also found the power of working through emotions on my own without the need to subject another to them when I didn’t need to. When I feel the need to address someone, I have found the power of always sharing my feelings constructively in a way that doesn’t drive anyone I care for away. I find that I experience deeper joy and gratitude in my life and that I no longer carry anger for long periods of time.
   

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3. Pain: pain has been the one emotion I had disassociated myself from because I experienced a lot of it growing up and the strategy I adopted then was never to acknowledge it especially in the presence of another person and that meant burying things in and putting on a mask of ‘all-is-well’ whenever I went out of my room. Acknowledging pain to me meant that I was admitting to being weak; unable to handle life. When heartbreaks happened as they so often tend to, without warning; I would tell myself to snap out of it. I didn’t know that this contributed to various ailments such as migraine headaches that I dragged with me for years. Ever since doing Soul Dancing and opening myself up to all emotions and accepting that there will always be pain in life – it is part of life and that it serves me in various ways; I stopped taking migraine treatment as I no longer suffer from the monthly bouts of it. Since I no longer have the fear of a heartbreak dangling above my head, I have become more playful, my laughter comes from deep within and I love deeply knowing that if I get hurt it will be a sign that I have loved deeply and that I am alive and not a reason to close up even more.
   

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4. Parenting: As a single parent to 3 children: a 23 year old young man, a 21 year old daughter and a 3 year old adorable son; I go through the normal parenting challenges of not knowing what is the best support to give particularly to the young adult children with their own challenges. At times I would experience disappointment in their choices and doubt my parenting skills. Soul Dancing has helped me navigate these thoroughly each time leaving me feeling more capable and closer to each of my children. We are now in a space where we are all free to share our challenges and their excitements with each other and I am a happy mother with them as part of my support team. I also understand that the challenges they deal with today are not the same as the ones we dealt with. I have grown to appreciate that they are also adults in their own right who, at some point, must learn through experience and that I will not manage to always be there to protect them. All this has come about because I stopped being a defensive parent who felt less than because of being single and have learnt instead the art of accepting all emotions I experience and then working through them without feeling threatened by them.
   

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5. Self-love: I grew up an emotional eater and I ate up all the emotions I didn’t allow myself to experience fully such as fear, anger, shame and or pain. I was not a reliable person as I would break promises willy nilly due to the absence of depth in my relationships. Since doing Soul Dancing, I have a growing healthier relationship with my body and who I am; I am aware of all my emotional eating triggers and I am able to deal with the causes rather than the symptoms. I have learnt the importance of keeping my word in building healthy relationships and have found that when I break a promise to another, I get affected too and the disappointment I feel usually contributes to self-punishment usually in the form of another binge eating episode.
   

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6. Self-confidence: Before Soul Dancing, I was more afraid of being taken as proud by “others” and so I didn’t acknowledge or display much of my positive strengths and capabilities even to myself. The positive feedback we give each other at Soul Dancing that is never flattery but about what others see in one has contributed a lot to my self-confidence. I am comfortable talking to people of any number because I am comfortable in me. This helps me a lot at work as I am no longer hiding in corners; I volunteer for additional work that will contribute positively to fellow employees. I have become committed in exercising my body and making healthy eating choices.
   

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7. Connection: My greatest benefit from Soul Dancing is in the raising of my consciousness. I find that with each Soul Dancing completed and the work I put in working through the many layers of the emotions I am more awake to everything happening in my life and the relationship consciousness has with the results I produce in my life. I have not been sick in years and I am now looking into the severe period pains that have surfaced in the past three months. I know that I will find the reason why I am manifesting them now. I have also reconnected with the love for connectionwith fellow human beings. Whereas I used to be very cautious with most people for fear of being hurt by them, I have made deep connections and friendships with fellow Soul Dancers – this has grown beyond the Soul Dancing sessions. It also has increased my support system. I have people I can trust to handle any problem I may wish to share anytime, who would not be shocked or be afraid of listening to. People who know that at times all I need is just an empathic ear without the need to advise or correct.Did I mention that all this happens in a space of deep sharing and moving to beautiful music? I do wish that anybody would experience a Soul Dancing workshop in their lives.”

AND

Nine years later… 2019 and my journey continues.

WHY?

• Through Soul Dancing I feel free to express emotions, emotions that I had learnt to suppress for fear of being judged, for fear of not being liked, for the fear of being alone…. For someone that once upon a time had little to no self-worth and making bad decisions as a result I have since left a physically, mentally and emotionally abusive marriage that I felt trapped in.
• Six years have passed since I stepped out of my marriage and it is I alone raising and being a sole provider for my 2 girls… I feared I wouldn’t be able to raise the girls on my own and that being one of the reasons I stayed in an abusive relationship. Courage, Determination, Perseveres … MY STRENGTH …I discovered it all through Soul Dancing.
• Soul dancing has challenged me in a massive way… literally having to face my fears head-on … I did… I conquered and I’m still here awaiting my next challenge… I now see and understand how irrational my fears really are… through the fear sessions I have participated in, I have become aware that my fears are just stories I keep telling myself.
• My word…. When I look back at myself 9 years ago to today …. I see two different people… Even my physic is proof of that which I have become today… I believe and I am living proof that emotions when not released can be heavy. literally… in releasing my emotions in a space so sacred, in a space so safe to such a point that I’m 8kgs light since my journey began just by releasing emotions is creditable.
• I Have participated in Soul Dancing numerous times and will continue. I have learnt so much. I grown so so much… I could go on and on as to the benefits of this amazing experience … but I leave you with this, something that Soul Dancing has left with me “No man ever steps into the same river twice… for it is not the same river and he is not the same man” Heraclitus.

“So what?” takes me straight back into the room at the Insight Training Centre during the Fear part of our “Fear/Love” session. I hear Efrat’s voice running through the litany of fears that we Soul Dancers had written down on our playsheets in preparation.

Fear of helplessness, homelessness, rejection, loss of a loved one, violence, our own weaknesses, death, betrayal, crime, being alone, destitution, physical pain, loneliness, being laughed at, old age … you name it, we’d thought of it.

What’s stuck with me, though, is Efrat’s question: “So what?”

What’s really the worst that can happen to me? If I truly believe that I’ll be all right in the end, no matter what, then I can face anything.

So today, instead of tormenting and torturing myself with fears of the horrible consequences of this, that and the other, I’m saying “So what?” Instead of collapsing – like my garden wall – into a crumpled, defeated heap, I’m out and about getting things done, doing what I can, and smiling contentedly to myself while I’m at it.

Yes we do dance at Soul Dancing. We also do a lot of sharing, shouting, laughing, soul-baring, crying, expressing, releasing, playing, exploring, experimenting, weeping, hugging, comforting and, above all, learning.

I learn something different every time. This time, it was to say “So what?” when my fears threaten to overwhelm me. Tomorrow, it might be time to take a look at how well I keep my promises, or perhaps to look more closely at how I express love, or how I might be sabotaging my own efforts to reach my dreams.

I’ll find out next time, hopefully in March 2016. See you there.

Ends

He aprendido a identificar mis emociones, a preguntarme en cada momento: ¿esto que siento es tristeza o rabia? Solo siendo testigo de mis emociones logro poder gestionarlas y cambiar de actitud.

He descubierto algunos aspectos de mi misma que desconocía y al mismo tiempo, he aprendido a aceptarlos, y aceptarme así como soy.

Soul Dancing en algunos momentos es divertido, en otros reflexivo, amable, por momentos una explosión de emociones, una montaña rusa. Es un viaje maravilloso que empieza algunas semanas antes de la primera sesión.

Me encanta bailar, pero nunca pude imaginar que el baile pudiera tener tanto poder en mi vida! Cada Soul Dancing es único y diferente al anterior. No solamente porque el grupo de compañeros cambia, sino porque cada uno de nosotros cambia continuamente o se encuentra en un mar de cambios. En la vida nos encontramos con muchas olas, pero solo yo puedo elegir si surfear la siguiente o ahogarme en ella.

Considero extraordinario tener un espacio donde las personas se sientan libres de compartir cara a cara, o por WhatsApp. Todos tenemos una vida muy ocupada, pero esos 10 min al día de compartir vivencias son como medicina para mi Alma. Esta medicina da como resultando un sentimiento de Unidad.  Me gusta mucho como lo expresa una amiga mía: “compartir nos permite ver los hilos dorados que nos unen a través del Amor” y así, darnos cuenta de que todos somos Uno.